Re-Imagining Lockdown Insecurity
all is grist for the mill and this too shall pass …
Many posts from prominent martial artists, and spiritual teachers, offer their opinions on how to cope with isolation. Some are interesting and helpful, while others are judgmental and self-righteous.
In lockdown, we question our beliefs and practices. For some of us, our T-shirts are a bit tighter. We try and meditate but it doesn’t work like it did six months ago. Why can’t I hear my guides, we ask ourselves? Why can’t I handle this? Why can’t I poo? Why can’t I sleep? Why can’t I motivate myself to learn that skill I never had time for? Why do virtual meetings freak me out? What’s wrong with me?
People are saying ‘if you can’t go within’, ‘if you can’t be with yourself’, ‘if you’re falling apart now’ and ‘if you’re going through a mental breakdown’, your practices were false or you didn’t do it properly to begin with. It’s all horribly judgmental at a time when we really don’t need personal attacks.
Can you imagine that nothing is wrong with you? Not before and not now. You’re dealing with an unprecedented global event. One that could be catastrophic for you and/or your loved ones, and the anxiety of that (whether subtle or overt) is stifling you.
So, do what works for you AT THE MOMENT, each moment…
What feedback are you getting from your teachers, friends, lovers now that you are in a rather different situation? Are they inviting you to take a rest? Explore another practice? Slow down?
If you used to meditate in silence, unmoving for hours, maybe your soul is asking you to get up and sing for a change. Maybe it’s in this period you learn the value of sound healing and vocal chants?
Well, maybe spirit is calling you to action, not analysis. Perhaps volunteer to drop food deliveries or make meals for elderly people in your community. Hopes, prayers and good intentions have more power when you’re present and responsive to the human world you inhabit. This simple act of showing up is a very big part. How can you show up, and be there, with your community (internal and external)?
Perhaps it is the simple, independent, things? Making bread, making your own pasta, learning how to juggle, learning about fermentation, reading the book you have been meaning to read, starting a journal … sparks come in mysterious places …
Simply put, whatever practice you have, it’s a doorway to other forms of learning.
Inner children, egos, old habits and traumas will raise their heads in this isolation, so be prepared to greet them, warmly, just don’t invite them to stay for too long. Whatever you’re feeling, that feeling is the key to unlocking your next step. They act as honest guides to keep you in the present.
You aren’t falling apart. You’re falling into your human-ness. Enjoy your practice, but don’t be trapped by it. There are so many ways to connect with your Higher Self. When you are being called to go higher, or simply take the next step, then go.
After all, we are ultimately here to experience being human. To feel, think, do and connect.
Lead Author: Raposa (Capoeira Name)
Raposa is a trainer and qualified KickBoxercise and Studio instructor trained in Boxing, Kung Fu, Capoeira, Silat, FMA, Weapons, Qi Gong and Tai Chi. A Graphic Designer she is now rediscovering illustrating and sewing in the UK and eager to explore soulful creative, learning experiences.
Anchor Author: Daniel Rudolph (editing and small additions)
Daniel Rudolph is interested in exploring alternative, experiential learning opportunities for people of all ages. He is passionate about forming community, and building public spaces for meaningful, transformational gathering. Currently he is spending a lot of his time learning juggling and facilitating gatherings. He also enjoys writing and sharing poetry. Daniel is a very curious and playful person and is always open for creative collaborations.